I've said this before and I'll say it again - I do not believe in coincidence. Though I don't think everything is predetermined, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Often timing can be seemingly attributed to nothing less than divine intervention, at least in my experience. That being said...
For the past week or so I've been feeling exceptionally glum. I'm sure that doesn't come as a surprise to anyone, but what I've felt has been different from the usual sadness/anger/outrage/disbelief I've grown accustomed to. This 'glum' feeling is almost a numb feeling. It's like I lack the energy to feel much of anything anymore. It feels like I've used up every last ounce of coping energy over the past 7 months and I've got nothin left. I'm so done. (for those of you who worry - that doesn't mean I want to off myself, I'd just like to stay in bed for the next 6 or 7 years)
So Tuesday night before going to bed I checked my email and noticed that eight or nine people had commented on my blog during a span of a couple hours. I thought that was interesting because I didn't know any of those people and surmised that somewhere, someone must have told a bunch of people about my blog. I didn't know how they heard of me, but I was grateful for their kind words and offers of support. I read what they had to say and went to bed feeling a little better.
Wednesday, as I went through my day I noticed that I was getting new comments every 5 minutes! I was also getting facebook messages from people all over the world. I realized that more than 500 people had viewed my blog in one day so I knew something was up. I googled my blog and saw that Ginny Montanez had written about me and my blog on her blog, "That's Church". She encouraged people to leave a comment to support me. It was all beginning to make sense.
I need to take a few moments to sincerely thank Ginny and everyone who has taken the time to read my blog, look at pictures of my kids and write a few kind words. You have absolutely no idea how much each comment, even the smallest ones, means to me and how much you have all helped me get out of my latest funk. When I truly did not have the strength or energy to cope another day, all of you "internet strangers" and "virtual friends" have carried me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you!
When I went to see the medium I mentioned in a previous post, she told me she could see a very large blue aura around me. She said that aura was the prayer energy of countless people praying for me. She told me I had no idea how many people were praying and that it would be difficult to understand just how much their prayers were helping. Now I do understand. And I just can't thank everyone enough.
And now for an ironic side note: I saw a news story about Ginny and her blog back in August. I checked "That's Church" out and, in addition to being extremely impressed by what an excellent writer Ginny is, her blog inspired me to start my own blog. I started Callapitter about a week after I saw that news story. I never cease to be amazed by the way people in my world are interconnected or by the fact that there is no such thing as coincidence.