I love Thanksgiving. I think it's my favorite holiday. Mostly because I love to cook and I really love to eat and it's great to have a whole day to do that with the people you love. I'm also a big fan of giving thanks. I've always felt it's important to "count my blessings" and not take things for granted, even before this year happened.
I guess, in some way, giving thanks this year means even more than it ever has before. I realize I've suffered a devastating loss, one I would give anything to undo and one I can't even completely comprehend, but even so...I still have so much good in my life. I have a wonderful family who would do anything for me, I have the most amazing friends in the world and I have a huge virtual community supporting me and helping me get by. I have a roof over my head, a job and a car. I’ve had the opportunity to spend some time traveling and now I have the chance to go back to school and pursue a career doing something I love. I am healthy. Despite my loss, I have many blessings.
As someone commented on one of my past posts - no matter how bad you think you have it, someone always has it worse. Though I am no longer physically with my children, I'm mostly sure they crossed over very quickly and didn't spend any time suffering. I believe in my heart and my soul that they are in a better place, surrounded by love and peace. They're not hurting, those of us who grieve for them are.
My heart goes out to parents who have to watch their children suffer through long-term illnesses. I also think about people who live in extreme poverty or war zones, soldiers who have to fight in wars and parents who's children disappear or are abducted. In no way is this a "who has it worse" contest, but I don't think I'd be strong enough to handle any of that. So, in my opinion, there are many people out there who have been dealt a far worse hand than me.
But back to the giving thanks part...
Most importantly, I am thankful for being Kate and Peter's mom. They came into my life, turned it upside-down, challenged me, changed me and made me a better person. They showed me what true unconditional love is.
They are they reason I have such wonderful friends. Through their lives and even in death they have connected me to so many people and brought so many other people together. The amount of love, light and joy they brought to this world in a combined 10 short years is certainly more I have in 35 years (though I’m only 28).
They taught me what is truly important in life. And I know, for sure, that they are still teaching me, changing me and helping me grow. I’m thankful for every moment I got to spend with them and every moment I will have with them in the future!
Thank you, Kate and Peter! I love you!!! Happy Thanksgiving.
Thank you Amy.
ReplyDeleteAmy,
ReplyDeleteThis holiday, I am thankful for your blog. Although it has been difficult to read, and I have shed several tears at my desk over your loss, I am thankful for your insight and am marveled by your strength. You, Kate, and Peter will be in my thoughts as I say thanks for all the things I too often take for granted. Thank you.
Amy, you are an exemplar of strength. The fact that you are able to count your blessings and give thanks during what will be, I can only assume, a very difficult holiday season IS all the more a testament to your strength.
ReplyDeleteYou have been in my thoughts and prayers since I was introduced to your blog. I pray that you have peace and comfort during your difficult times. I have no doubts that your children are in heaven and in the arms of their Lord.
God bless.
Great post Amy.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing you widen your perspective from looking at others' problems, while at the same time giving all of US a wider perspective from looking at YOUR problems.
ReplyDeleteJust a great post. Very moving.
What a beautiful post & what a wonderful reminder for this holiday season. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to read your words, & that you have so many who care so much about you.
ReplyDeleteYou & your children will be in my thoughts tomorrow.
I continue to be amazed by your strength & insight...
ReplyDeleteThank you for making me thankful for being a mom...there are many days where I am not thankful or grateful for my children. Your blog reminds me of the blessings I have with these children right here and now...
ReplyDeleteYou are one insightful soul. Happy Thanksgiving to you, and God's blessings to you! You are in our thoughts and prayers!
ReplyDeleteAs i sit here and fight with my family about where and what time I have to be there I logged onto your post and just began to cry. I should be thankful for everything I have. Instead I sit here being pissed at my family, After a loss like you have had and I think to myself how strong you are. Have a great Thanksgiving day and remember Kate and Peter are eating turkey with you. Prayers are with you today
ReplyDeleteGod bless you Amy and happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteWhat a thoughtful, wonderful post. I am thinking of you today especially, and I hope you are surrounded by those you love and great food.
ReplyDeleteThanks to you, many people are counting their blessings a little more today and other days.
God bless.
Happy Thanksgiving, Amy. God bless you. I hope you are able to remember during the holidays, and ALWAYS, how loved and supported you are. You're not alone!
ReplyDelete-Ashley
Amy,
ReplyDeleteMy son Cameron was on Kate's soccer team and I have been praying for you and your family since I received the email from Coach Kathy about the accident. I don't think we ever talked at a game but your family has touched me in so many ways. Just one way is the time I have with my kids, I am reminded and more aware that it is not promised tomorrow. I was thinking about you on yesterday at Thanksgiving dinner and happened to stumble on this website. I am amazed at your thoughts and writings. They are very inspiring to read and I just want to thank you for being so open while dealing with such a loss and something all moms fear. I will continue to pray for your strength. Psalm 33:20 We wait in hope for the Lord: he is our help and our shield.
Natalie Guy
My dear Amy, how thankful I am for having you and those terrific kids in my life. What some folks don't know about you is how your thoughts always seem to go to others even in your worst moments. I will always remember that on the day we lost Kate & Peter you asked Tara "How is Mrs.S?" How you could have ever, in those terrible moments, thought of me I will never know, but you did. What a gift you are to all of us lucky enough to be part of your life.
ReplyDeleteDear Amy,
ReplyDeleteYour words in this post are so moving. I can genuinely say that I am truly, truly thankful to know you and to have had you as part of my life. I found a picture of the two of us the other day, when were were about 13 or 14 years old. It made me laugh, and it made me cry... Despite your deep, deep loss, I'm so happy to know that you can find so much to be thankful for. Much love to you always,
Christine
You are in inspiration to so many. Those who can find the blessings in such difficult circumstances are heroes.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful for Kate and Peter and for you Amy!
ReplyDeleteI am also, like the above poster, thankful for you and your blog. Thank you for opening up your thoughts to the world. You have truly made a difference. God Bless You!!
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog by accident yesterday while researching a person's name at work. It turns out that someone with a similar name had posted on your blog. Even after realizing that I hadn't found who I was looking for, I was drawn to read about your precious children and your tragic loss. Even tonight I'm drawn back to your site to read more about how you are coping with this tragedy and attempting to move on. I have two boys ages 6 and 4 and like your kids to you, they are the light of my life. As I sit and read your blog, I can't help but feel guilty about just asking them to go into another room to allow me some "me time"......while you are there thinking that you would give anything to have your kids back. I know that every mom needs some quiet time ever so often, but it is ironic I guess. I'm not generally a blogger, but this picture of you and your kids hits so close to home, that I had to tell you just how so sorry that I am for you. The fact is that I have a very similar picture of my own precious boys sitting around me, happy and smiling while wearing (believe it or not) Ward and Polamalu jerseys .....and I realize, "that could be a picture of us"....just normal Steeler fans loving life one day and then the next, all that we know and love could be gone........Keep on Keeping On....God's Blessings and happier days are wished to you from a Mom in North Carolina......
ReplyDelete