Of all your postings, I think this one made me cry the most. However, the tears this time were tears of joy! To find this message from your daughter after all these months is precious. I know that I will notice all the little notes from my kids a little differently now. I certainly won't be so quick to discard some of them. Thanks for sharing this heart warming story with us!
Dear Amy, I came across your blog through the community of dooce.com under the topic of "what makes you cry?" Someone linked your blog and now I am crying along, writing through my tears.
I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. I think writing about it is the best thing you can do. I just wanted to let you know that one more person out here knows your story and feels a sliver of your pain. Somehow I think it gives us strength when we know we're not alone. I'm rooting for you and I want to keep reading your story. I won't be able to stop thinking about you for a long time. I hope that helps in some small way.
Gosh - don't all your recent posts make complete sense now, eh? What an intuitive, sweet little girl. She really loves her family. What a find .... I hope you found the comfort she intended in that little note :-).
I also found you through Dooce.com and the "What makes you cry?" topic. I have to say... I am deeply touched and saddened by your story. I cannot even begin to imagine your loss, and I find it amazing that you have the strength and courage to write this blog. You are amazing, and your children were blessed to have you as much as you were to have them. They are forever beautiful little angels... God bless you.
Thanks so much for sharing Amy. It is funny how those notes from Kate make me think of Peter, that he is with the best companion he could have. The fact that she included not only you and her dad, but also her little brother... I can see so clearly now what you said in some other post about the pictures of both huging each other... she is taking care of him too Amy, and both are happy for you taking "Kur" of yourself. Be sure they will be always with you, and we, all of us, too. Keep cleaning! :)
This note you shared with us fills me with the wonder of it all!! In the end it's always about love, isn't it Amy?..Kate just reminded you and all of us here that are takign this journey with you ! Thank you Amy and thank you Kate! xx ~Adriana
My daughter works with you and has told me about you and your two little blessings. Today she text me at work to tell me to read your story in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette. I stopped to read your story and of course had to go to your blog. I am sitting here at work with tears in my eyes and can't stop reading. You are a strong person - stronger than you know - and you are helping so many people with your blog. Your little Kate and Peter are so precious - in every picture they are so happy. I can tell you loved them very much and still love them. Thank you for sharing your story and your children with others. We don't know why things happen, maybe some day we will. I pray God will continue to give you strength. Just know that some day you will see Kate & Peter again and hold them. take care, Sharon
Hi Amy Yesterday I went to my mother's house for dinner. She came in the living room and said you have to read this article in the post Gazette. When she handed me the paper and I began to read through the lines. I felt an immediate connection. I lost my daughter Leona Tawnae Ford September 30,2009. She was hit by a tractor trailer in, Harmarvillle coming from a birthday party at Fun Fest. I didn't know how I was going to go on with life at that point because the pain was unbearable. When they told me Tawnae didn't make it. The world just collapsed from under me. I asked them could I see her I just wanted her to know that her mommy came for her. I just wanted to say baby I'm here mommy is here.When they told me I couldn't see her my pain deepened even more . I just wanted to hold her, run my fingers through her hair. I just wanted my baby back. I asked god over and over why why why. My baby was only 10. She was on the cheerleading team, ran track, took ballet classes. She just was one of those kids that loved being involved in activities. She was just so full of life. I instantly had to forgive the three chaperones for walking my baby on a dark road with no street lights. I had so many if's and why's that it almost drove me insane. I couldn't fight this battle only god knew why and I felt I had to stop questioning it so I could go on with living my life the best way I knew how. I had to remember I still had two kids to raise and they were going through the same pain. The last memory I had of Tawnae that day was dropping her off with the birthday girl to meet the other girls from the cheerleading team , she said mommy we have the same pants. They was just smiling I looked back to wave at them. One of the medical examiners called me to ask if I could meet with her because she had something she wanted me to have. It was one of the orange ribbons Tawnae had in her hair. It was the only thing left for me to hold on to. I had thoughts in my head about why I couldn't see her but than I knew they were telling me for a reason. As I continued to read the paper, the part that really touched me is when you mentioned "I just hope that somehow I will become like a calla pitter and will turn into a butterfly. It touched me because it made me think back to a time when my son and I went to bible study one month after the accident. The preacher preached about how a butterfly is formed. When my son and I got home. I turned off the ignition, before I could take my hands off the steering wheel a butterfly flew in through the passenger side window where my son was and landed on my left hand and just sat there. I was like oh my god oh my god. This was the first time I ever looked a butterfly straight in the face and really noticed how beautiful they were. It just sat there until it flew away back out the window. I felt that was confirmation Tawnae had transformed into her new life.
The joy of taking care of you was all ours, Kate! I love you, my little Katarina!
ReplyDeletewhat a blessing!
ReplyDeleteOf all your postings, I think this one made me cry the most. However, the tears this time were tears of joy! To find this message from your daughter after all these months is precious. I know that I will notice all the little notes from my kids a little differently now. I certainly won't be so quick to discard some of them. Thanks for sharing this heart warming story with us!
ReplyDeleteOh my word. what a little nugget of JOY you found when you found those notes. I think I would frame them! Praying for you!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Amy,
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog through the community of dooce.com under the topic of "what makes you cry?" Someone linked your blog and now I am crying along, writing through my tears.
I'm so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. I think writing about it is the best thing you can do. I just wanted to let you know that one more person out here knows your story and feels a sliver of your pain. Somehow I think it gives us strength when we know we're not alone. I'm rooting for you and I want to keep reading your story. I won't be able to stop thinking about you for a long time. I hope that helps in some small way.
All the best to you,
Tasha
That's so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteGosh - don't all your recent posts make complete sense now, eh? What an intuitive, sweet little girl. She really loves her family. What a find .... I hope you found the comfort she intended in that little note :-).
ReplyDeleteI also found you through Dooce.com and the "What makes you cry?" topic. I have to say... I am deeply touched and saddened by your story. I cannot even begin to imagine your loss, and I find it amazing that you have the strength and courage to write this blog. You are amazing, and your children were blessed to have you as much as you were to have them. They are forever beautiful little angels... God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing Amy. It is funny how those notes from Kate make me think of Peter, that he is with the best companion he could have. The fact that she included not only you and her dad, but also her little brother... I can see so clearly now what you said in some other post about the pictures of both huging each other... she is taking care of him too Amy, and both are happy for you taking "Kur" of yourself. Be sure they will be always with you, and we, all of us, too. Keep cleaning! :)
ReplyDeleteThis note you shared with us fills me with the wonder of it all!! In the end it's always about love, isn't it Amy?..Kate just reminded you and all of us here that are takign this journey with you !
ReplyDeleteThank you Amy and thank you Kate! xx
~Adriana
Dear Amy,
ReplyDeleteMy daughter works with you and has told me about you and your two little blessings. Today she text me at work to tell me to read your story in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette. I stopped to read your story and of course had to go to your blog. I am sitting here at work with tears in my eyes and can't stop reading. You are a strong person - stronger than you know - and you are helping so many people with your blog. Your little Kate and Peter are so precious - in every picture they are so happy. I can tell you loved them very much and still love them. Thank you for sharing your story and your children with others. We don't know why things happen, maybe some day we will. I pray God will continue to give you strength. Just know that some day you will see Kate & Peter again and hold them.
take care, Sharon
Hi Amy
ReplyDeleteYesterday I went to my mother's house for dinner. She came in the living room and said you have to read this article in the post Gazette. When she handed me the paper and I began to read through the lines. I felt an immediate connection. I lost my daughter Leona Tawnae Ford September 30,2009. She was hit by a tractor trailer in, Harmarvillle coming from a birthday party at Fun Fest. I didn't know how I was going to go on with life at that point because the pain was unbearable. When they told me Tawnae didn't make it. The world just collapsed from under me. I asked them could I see her I just wanted her to know that her mommy came for her. I just wanted to say baby I'm here mommy is here.When they told me I couldn't see her my pain deepened even more . I just wanted to hold her, run my fingers through her hair. I just wanted my baby back. I asked god over and over why why why. My baby was only 10. She was on the cheerleading team, ran track, took ballet classes. She just was one of those kids that loved being involved in activities. She was just so full of life. I instantly had to forgive the three chaperones for walking my baby on a dark road with no street lights. I had so many if's and why's that it almost drove me insane. I couldn't fight this battle only god knew why and I felt I had to stop questioning it so I could go on with living my life the best way I knew how. I had to remember I still had two kids to raise and they were going through the same pain. The last memory I had of Tawnae that day was dropping her off with the birthday girl to meet the other girls from the cheerleading team , she said mommy we have the same pants. They was just smiling I looked back to wave at them. One of the medical examiners called me to ask if I could meet with her because she had something she wanted me to have. It was one of the orange ribbons Tawnae had in her hair. It was the only thing left for me to hold on to. I had thoughts in my head about why I couldn't see her but than I knew they were telling me for a reason. As I continued to read the paper, the part that really touched me is when you mentioned "I just hope that somehow I will become like a calla pitter and will turn into a butterfly. It touched me because it made me think back to a time when my son and I went to bible study one month after the accident. The preacher preached about how a butterfly is formed. When my son and I got home. I turned off the ignition, before I could take my hands off the steering wheel a butterfly flew in through the passenger side window where my son was and landed on my left hand and just sat there. I was like oh my god oh my god. This was the first time I ever looked a butterfly straight in the face and really noticed how beautiful they were. It just sat there until it flew away back out the window. I felt that was confirmation Tawnae had transformed into her new life.
Hi Amy my daughter Leona Tawnae's accident was on September 30,2006. I noticed i put 2009. We will see our little bundles of joy again.
ReplyDelete