Ken and I have been working hard on planning our wedding. I have my dress, the invitations have been sent out and the big day is less than two months away. Obviously, we've opted for a short engagement. The way I see it, we know we want to get married to let's just get on with it already :)
Here's where I need your help...
We're planning the ceremony ourselves. It's going to be fairly short and simple - outdoors, in a park on what will hopefully be a beautiful fall day. We've got most of it figured out. We've selected some readings and chosen our vows. One of Ken's best friends is going to be our officiant, which I think is great. What we're having a difficult time conceptualizing is how to somehow include Kate and Peter in the ceremony.
I always imagined my kids would be at my wedding. Even 4 years ago, soon after Steve and I separated, I had an intuitive feeling I'd be 35 when I got married again, which I am, and that they would be 8 and 6, which they would have been. I could see Kate in a beautiful white dress with long, flowing curls and Peter in a little tux - even though no one else will be wearing a tux. Sadly, that's not how it will be and I have a hard time envisioning that day without them. The thought of it always reduces me to tears.
So I have to find a way to recognize them and honor their spirits. I know they will be on every one's minds, so I want to do something that's as positive as possible, not something to just make everybody sad. But what?! I have no idea.
I spoke with one wedding officiant who told me that most people pause for a moment of silence at the beginning of the ceremony to remember those who are not there. Unfortunately, that just won't cut it. I need something more - more personal, more special, more them! I've thought about having Kate and Peter's friends do something (many of them will be there), but again, I don't know what. Any ideas or suggestions you might have would be greatly appreciated!!!
While I'm beyond excited for our wedding I know that it will simultaneously be one of the happiest and saddest days ever. Obviously, I'm overjoyed at the idea of marrying Ken and I can't wait to begin our lives together. At the same time, I think it really will be hard to get through the day knowing my kids aren't physically there. I know they will be there in spirit and I hope and pray they will feel how much they are loved and missed by everyone who will be in attendance.