So I've made it through a year. I can't thank all of you enough for the overwhelming love and support on you showed me on Tuesday - you have no idea how much it helped!
Honestly, I think the build-up to "the day" was far worse than the actual day itself. The week before I started freaking out, reliving the whole experience. By the time April 6th arrived I was so stressed I sort of disconnected from myself and walked around in a fog all day. I didn't cry much that day, I really couldn't feel anything.
Fortunately, because I have the best friends EVER, I was surrounded by people who love me for the majority of the day. I met some of my friends for lunch at the Square Cafe, a little restaurant in Regent Square where my kids and I used to eat often - they loved that place. Then I met some other friends for dinner at Mad Mex - another restaurant my kids enjoyed. There I ate one of their favorites (and mine) for dinner - a hot fudge brownie sundae. I would have never let them eat that as their dinner, only after they ate their dinners. Kate always had soft chicken tacos with black beans and Peter always had Dino Nuggets. Now I'm thinkin the sundae is probably more nutritious than the Dino Nuggets...shoulda let Peter skip right to dessert.
I wanted to do something "in their memory" or something to honor them. I know people often take flowers to a grave site, but my kids weren't buried so I don't have a grave site to go to. Their ashes are at my house with me. However, three trees were planted in their memory last year - 2 at Kate's school and one at Peter's school. I considered taking flowers there.
A few days earlier I met up with Kate's Kindergarten teacher, who works at the school Peter attended last year, and I knew she was taking care of the tree there. She put pumpkins by the tree for Halloween (one decorated like a princess and one like Captain Jack Sparrow), hung eggs on the tree for Easter and brought flowers to the tree on "the day". So I figured I would do something with the trees at Kate's school.
My first thought was flowers, but then I reconsidered. Flowers are nice, but my kids would prefer toys. So I brought a Sleeping Beauty Barbie and a Spiderman action figure and, with the help of some friends, secured them in the trees. I'm hoping my kids liked that.
The best part, for me, was when the Vice-Principal of the school called me later that day to tell me she overheard some kids leaving school saying, "Cool! Check it out - Kate and Peter put toys in their trees!" I'm so happy to know the kids remember them.