So the day is here and so far I'm ok, though I've only been awake for 10 minutes. Right now I'm feeling an overwhelming sense of peace - I have no idea why but I'm going with it.
I remember last year on the first anniversary I had this compulsive need to relive all of the events of the year before. I kept looking at the clock thinking, "this time last year I was taking Peter to school" or "this time last year we were driving to Erie" etc. It's something I had to do for some reason, but in essence I was just reliving the tragedy of it all.
This year I don't feel the need to do that so I'm going to try to stay present in 2011. Instead of trying to remember every detail of the last time I saw them, I'm going to try to focus on the love that I feel for my kids and from my kids, no matter where they are. The love still exists and it always will.
And, if I relive anything this year, I want to relive some of the wonderful moments and memories I shared with Kate and Peter.