Wednesday, April 6, 2011

the anniversary, year two

So the day is here and so far I'm ok, though I've only been awake for 10 minutes. Right now I'm feeling an overwhelming sense of peace - I have no idea why but I'm going with it.

I remember last year on the first anniversary I had this compulsive need to relive all of the events of the year before. I kept looking at the clock thinking, "this time last year I was taking Peter to school" or "this time last year we were driving to Erie" etc. It's something I had to do for some reason, but in essence I was just reliving the tragedy of it all.

This year I don't feel the need to do that so I'm going to try to stay present in 2011. Instead of trying to remember every detail of the last time I saw them, I'm going to try to focus on the love that I feel for my kids and from my kids, no matter where they are. The love still exists and it always will.

And, if I relive anything this year, I want to relive some of the wonderful moments and memories I shared with Kate and Peter.













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22 comments:

  1. SherriApril 6, 2011 at 8:25 AM

    Thinking of you today. Love your photos, as always :-). Thanks for sharing them, btw. They're such cuties, Amy - really. The three of you will love one another forever and ever.Hopefully, peace and the essence of your sweet, sweet babies will be with you all day today.

    That first year is terrible - a series of painful firsts. Now, you're healing. Eventually, you'll be able to enjoy your beautiful memories without so much pain.

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  2. SusanApril 6, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    Thinking of you xx

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  3. ErinPatriciaApril 6, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    Sending you much love today Amy.

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  4. MollyApril 6, 2011 at 8:56 AM

    Thinking of you today...

    (I love the first picture. So cute!)

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  5. UnknownApril 6, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    Thinking and praying, as always.

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  6. AnonymousApril 6, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    Thinking of you Amy today and always, your little ones are always with you and especially today. Your pictures are beautiful and your memories are magical.

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  7. FacieApril 6, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    One of the radio stations I listen to has lately been playing a lot of INXS (a long-ago favorite band of mine that I had forgotten about). "Never Tear Us Apart" has popped up a few times, and two lines have stuck with me and made me think of you: the obvious "And they could never tear us apart," which I know is true of you and your babies, and the more thought-provoking (at least to me) "I told you that we could fly 'cause we all have wings but some of us don't know why."

    Thinking of you and hoping the peace remains.

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  8. bibcApril 6, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    abiding with you on this anniversary. thinking as usual of your beautiful children, and your drive to keep them ever present. glad you woke up with peace in your heart today, something tells me they were responsible for that.
    you are lucky to be their mom. im sorry they are so far away from you in person, but im glad they are nestled right inside your heart. that won't change.
    xoxo
    lis

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  9. NicoleApril 6, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    still praying for you

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  10. Ms2Mrs..back to MsApril 6, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    Thinking of you and your children today. Hugs.

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  11. JessicaB07April 6, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    thinking of you today! Take care of yourself!

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  12. NancyApril 6, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    What great pictures. :) Thinking of you today. <3

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  13. KatieApril 6, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Thinking of you and your gorgeous babies...

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  14. CatherineApril 6, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    I hope that peace continues throughout the day. Thinking of you and sending love your way.

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  15. PatriciaApril 6, 2011 at 5:09 PM

    Sending you a hug, from one Mom to another. I hope you find moments of peace all day long - and every day from here on!

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  16. AnonymousApril 6, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    Thinking of you today and thank you for sharing those lovely photos!

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  17. AnonymousApril 7, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    Amy, your kids, are alive and well, in the arms of God. I believe the peace you woke up with, was their gift to you on this difficult day. We may not have perfect happiness in this life, but we can have a peaceful joy knowing that the ones we love, we will see again. And then, it will be forever.

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  18. quadmomApril 7, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    Here from Lis' blog. I am thinking of you and sending you strength during this especially difficult time.

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  19. Joe FickApril 8, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    Great photos and memories, Amy. Still praying. Hugs.

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  20. AnonymousApril 10, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    Some research suggests that the second year for a bereaved parent is even worse than the first. I hope the worst is behind you and that the amount of peace you are able to feel increases. Your beautiful children knew deep, unconditional love every day of their short lives.

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  21. AnonymousApril 14, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    Wonderful photos. Always praying for you and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. --Amanda

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  22. dotalotApril 15, 2011 at 7:00 AM

    oh amy, you are so brave, i love your photos, your children are so very beautiful, sending love across the seas, anne - littleharves xxx

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