Sunday, May 9, 2010

Just for today...

I've had a bunch of school-related things I've wanted to write about but literally have not had a minute to sit down and write them, until now. And now I realize that it's Mother's Day and I don't feel like they're all that important. I'll save them for another day.

Unfortunately, I don't have much to say about Mother's Day except that I know a lot of real great moms, including my own, who deserve to be appreciated and have a fabulous day.

Last year Mother's Day was sad because it was the first one I spent without my kids. I think this year may be even more sad because I feel so far removed from being a mother.

I know I will always be a mom and can always call myself a mom, but I don't get to do mom things anymore. So while I still have the "title" Mom, I no longer have a role as a mom, at least not in any practical way. I hate that.

Just for today I'm going back to bed to cry and be sad and feel sorry for myself (and hopefully sleep so the day goes by faster). But I promise that tomorrow I will get out of bed and try to have a better day. Really, I will.

And while I'm in bed feeling sad, please don't doubt for one second that I will also be feeling grateful that I've had the chance to be a mom at all...if there is one thing that will ALWAYS outweigh my sadness it is how fortunate I feel to have been Kate and Peter's mama for any length of time.

I sincerely wish a Happy Mother's Day to all the other moms out there - to those who are with their children today and to those who, for whatever reason, are not.

13 comments:

  1. Thinking of you today and sending you a virtual hug. Keep swimming, as I know you will.

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  2. Hi Amy,

    I thought of you often today, as I know so many others did. Thank you for your post, for sharing the inspiration of your sadness being outweighed by your feelings of gratitude. And yes, you're absolutely right, you will always be a mom...just as all of us will be children even when our moms are no longer with us.

    Take care,
    Jonathan

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  3. happy mother's day to you. thank you for sharing, and for reminding us, as always, of what is important.

    sue

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  4. Happy Mother's Day. You will always be a loving mother to Kate and Peter.

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  5. Michelle O'BrienMay 9, 2010 at 10:37 PM

    Happy Mother's Day Amy...thinking of you...xoxo

    Love,
    Michelle

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  6. Happy Mother's Day Amy. Your motherhood shines so brightly on this blog. You do a wonderful job reminding us about your beautiful children.

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  7. I found your blog today through a friend. I read the whole thing, I smiled, laughed and cried. God has placed you and your children on my heart this Mother's Day. I will never forget them, and I will never stop praying.

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  8. Sending you so much love. You are on my mind and in my heart always. *hug*

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  9. I lost my baby last year, to miscarriage... It was my first pregnancy. I have a stepson who I've helped raise since he was a year old and is now almost nine, but I never get to spend the holiday with him as he spends that day, of course, with his mother. It stings when I see everyone else celebrating the holiday and I don't get any recognition - and this year it was a double whammy after having lost my baby. But I know that no matter what, I am and always will be a mama.

    Like you said, you will always be Kate and Peter's mommy. Forever and always... And whether or not you ever have any more children, you are always going to be a mother. A terrific, beautiful mommy!

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  10. Hi Amy - you don't know me, but I really wanted to send some online hugs and good feelings, I can't begin to imagine how it would be to lose your children. But I wanted to send my warmest thoughts and prayers. You will always be a mummy! You are an amazing strong woman. Much love to you xXX

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  11. When I read your post, I was thinking about how Kate and Peter MADE you a mother, a mommy. You became a mother not just by virtue of giving birth but in the countless interactions with both of your children. That dimension of your identity will be with you forever, and as time goes on, you will find yourself able to tap into that "mother" part of you when you need to--because there are literally millions of kids who need "mothering," even for just a few moments, and you can pass along to them all of what you learned and became because of your beautiful kids.

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  12. Stay strong! Your kids are with you even though you can't see them. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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