Monday, April 6, 2015

What ever happened to Kate and Peter's Treehouse...

If you're new to my blog or my story, let me tell you a little bit about the origin of Kate and Peter's Treehouse. The night Kate and Peter were killed, six years ago tonight, I remember talking to my Dad on the phone and telling him that I had no idea what to do next. My kids were my life. I was a stay at home mom. I didn't have a single thing on my calendar for the rest of eternity that didn't revolve around my kids. Not one.

He said something like, "You have to go on. You have to let people know who they were and how incredible they were. You have to memorialize them in some meaningful way."

I didn't know the first thing about memorializing anybody, but I did know that Kate and Peter really wanted me to build them a treehouse. They loved playing outside as most kids do, and they loved the Magic Tree House book series, thanks to Kate's kindergarten teacher. Ever since discovering those books they had wanted a treehouse so of course, I said someday. Tragically, someday never came.

When my dad mentioned memorializing them I thought about the fact that Kate was going to a brand new elementary school that had no playground, so I figured we could find a way to build one there. Kate and Peter wouldn't get to use it, but their friends and classmates could benefit from it for years to come.

After I proposed the idea, people began donating money. I was overwhelmed by the huge and gracious response. Over 600 people made donations and we compiled a good chunk of money with which to build what I thought could be a pretty nice treehouse.

The school was located in one of Pittsburgh's parks so in order to build anything there, I needed to work with the folks who manage those parks. We set up a meeting and began planning what would become known as "Kate and Peter's Treehouse".

A request for design proposals was made, design teams responded and we were off on our design journey. As things began to develop, however, I was contacted by a city councilman's office and told that some of the residents in that neighborhood didn't want a new playground or any sort of construction project in their park. I was quite confused (I mean, who doesn't want a fancy new playground) but I'm not very pushy and I'm not the type to ruffle any feathers. A public meeting was held and city residents spoke both for and against Kate and Peter's Treehouse, but those against more or less got their way. The parks people and I were asked to find a different location for the treehouse.

If I'm being honest, this whole opposition development was very disheartening to me. I am still not sure I understand the naysayers, but we agreed to find a new location. We picked a spot near what was going to become the new Frick Environmental Center. We chose a design team and began having public meetings to hear what city residents (especially kids) would like to see in Kate and Peter's Treehouse.

I have to tell you that when I first came up with this idea I never imagined how challenging this process would be. I figured that building a playground/treehouse was a fairly simple idea, especially when I was offering what I thought was a large sum of donated money. I was very seriously mistaken.

As the process continued I was told things like, "we can't call this a playground; if we do we'll have to submit to very specific design specifications like using plastic and rubber building materials". Next I heard things like, "we can't use the word play at all when referring to this project; this needs to be seen as more of a space for outdoor education" Who knew there were so many play haters in the world? I was assured that the finished project would contain some fun elements though.

After a year or so of meetings and designs I was presented with what was THE schematic design. To be honest, I think I've repressed the image of the actual design, but what I remember seeing was a deck-like structure with some very lovely landscaping around it. I couldn't see any fun elements. Not a slide. Not a swing. Nothing that looked fun at all.

During those aforementioned public meetings kids said they wanted climbing walls and zip lines and slides and swings (those kids also drew pictures and built models - they really got into it designing this thing!). I realize that some of those things are not possible, but something fun would have been nice. To be fair, I think the design team did as good a job as possible, but with these constraints of no playground, no play, etc. their hands were somewhat tied.

I was extremely disappointed, but there were two things that were even more upsetting than the design itself. One was that Kate and Peter's names were no longer allowed to be part of this project. The project was now called "The Treehouse in Frick Park". Instead I was told that a memorial plaque with their names would be visible somewhere at this structure. The other upsetting part was that the price tag of this project was somewhere in the neighborhood of $600,000. Yes, you read that correctly. $600,000. That was well over 5 times what had originally been donated. So as soon as I could come up with more than half a million, this non-Kate and Peter, not-fun, non-playground would be underway! (In all fairness, they offered some help in this giant fundraising endeavor.)

I started crying. I was in public, in a coffee shop. I didn't care. There was nothing else I could do. I knew I couldn't raise that much money and there was no way I was going to try for something that had nothing to do with my kids and didn't involve anything fun. My only option was to take what money was left and use it for something else. Sadly, half of the original money had been eaten up by this design process and there was no way to get it back. That part still makes me want to vomit.

At this point I felt extremely defeated. I didn't want to waste one more penny of what had been so generously donated so I figured I'd just donate what was left to a worthy cause. Someone had to benefit from this money! On the off-chance that Kate's school could help me find such a cause, I gave them a call. At this point it was sometime in late 2012.

In the years since 2009, when Kate attended the school, a new building had been obtained and the school now occupied two buildings. As it turned out, the lower school (grades K-3) did have the space to build a playground and they were willing to try. The money was transferred to them and they agreed to take on the project. I was, and still am, extremely grateful.

As I've come to learn, these things take time (clearly). As of today, the project is still in the planning stages. Kate and Peter's Treehouse is part of a larger playground project. The school has assured me they will only use the money donated for Kate and Peter to build the treehouse itself, but they need to raise additional funds for the rest of the project. They recently held what was a very successful fundraiser, but they still have a way to go. I have faith that this project will be underway soon.

I apologize for the lack of information about this project over the last few years. I honestly didn't know what to say. I've been a combination of frustrated, angry, sad and ashamed about the whole thing. Every time I think we're making progress, something bad seems to happen. But at this moment I'm encouraged. I believe in the Environmental Charter School and all of the people who are working hard to get this project moving. It's going to happen. I can't tell you exactly when, only that it is.

As always, thank you all for your continued love and kindness. I'm amazed by how many of you still read and comment after all these years. Each and every comment is a comfort and reassurance that Kate and Peter haven't been forgotten. Thank you!


20 comments:

  1. People do remember your kids, and you, too. People like me who never met you and who never comment on blogs. I hope that some how, some way, the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes of everyone who knows your story will find their way to you and help to bring you some peace. I really mean that.

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  2. People do remember your kids, and you, too. People like me who never met you and who never comment on blogs. I hope that some how, some way, the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes of everyone who knows your story will find their way to you and help to bring you some peace. I really mean that.

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  3. I agree with Barbara. I will never forget you or your kids and think of you all often. I'm sorry the treehouse project has been frustrating; I'm glad it's finally making some headway. Sending you extra hugs tonight.

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  4. I am so sorry you have had to deal with people who don't have the best interest of the project at heart. It isn't fair, but it isn't your fault. Kate abd Peter must know, wherever they are, that you tried. I hope that the treehouse gets built at the school one day, but no matter what, you did your darndest! I never met your babies but I think of them every day. You are amazing

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  5. Amy you are one amazing person. I know what you have been through for this project. You are a mom on a mission to remember your children and allow other children to enjoy something that Peter and Kate would have loved. This will happen, I know it!! You worked so hard to raise this money and although you had to go through so much to get to this point it will be one amazing moment when it happens. And Peter and Kate will be watching all those kids enjoying one awesome playground! Love you!! Julie

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  6. Amy, we moved away from ECS two years ago, but we still remember you and your kids and the two trees flanking the entrance to the school in memoriam. I am so grateful you took the time to write this update and share it. I am once again saddened by the heavily regulated and litigious society we have built around us. I look forward to the treehouse that is to come! Tania Lyon

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  7. I've been following your story since before my children were born... a boy 6, and a girl 4. I think of your family often and pray for you guys. I can now sit and understand the magnitude of what you lost.. but I also admire how strong you've been through this entire journey. I hope to see your Tree house come to fruition!! I can't wait to see pictures.

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  8. Amy, so good to hear from you. I think of you often and I think of Kate and Peter every day. I have a picture of them on my desk in my classroom and whenever I am having a bad day or I am frustrated with my students I look at that picture and am reminded not to take anything for granted. The photo was given to me after babysitting one evening and they kiddos are smiling wearing red flannel pj's. I treasure this picture and it reminds me how fortunate I am to have known them. Kate and Peter were caring, loving, funny, silly and simply remarkable children. I know that this playground will be as amazing as Kate & Peter. Take Care, Stacy K.

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  9. So sorry it's been so difficult Amy!
    I'm so glad that you are so dedicated. I'm also astonished at folks that don't like fun.
    The project just needs to find the right home where people like fun!
    Hang in there.
    :-)
    Tara

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  10. Hi Amy - like others, I have never met you, but was told of your story years ago by my sister, who's sister-in-law is Sarah Sommer, and she knew you from a while back. I have thought of you and your children throughout these years, and have prayed for you to be comforted by their love, and for Kate and Peter to reach out to you - to speak to you in whatever way they can.

    Please keep us posted as the school builds the playground. You are so generous to invest so much time to see their treehouse through, it's a shame there are naysayers that want to hold back from building anything fun for children. Please stay strong!

    xoxo,
    Kym

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  11. Amy, I have been thinking about you so much lately. I'm glad you've kept up with writing, however infrequent. I hope you know that there are people who care about you and wish you well and pray for your heath and well being. And who remember Katie and Peter.

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  12. Amy, I have been thinking about you so much lately. I'm glad you've kept up with writing, however infrequent. I hope you know that there are people who care about you and wish you well and pray for your heath and well being. And who remember Katie and Peter.

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  13. I've been following you story and this blog for a few years and check back often for updates. My hope for you remains the same - that you find the strength and peace you need to forge ahead in a world that doesn't shine as bright. Now that I have a child of my own, the weight of you loss weighs even heavier on my heart. Your angels are remembered. Looking forward to more updates on Kate and Peter's Treehouse.

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  14. I always check in thinking of you. Adding up how old Kate and Peter would be and hoping of sweet dreams for you kissed by your kids and maybe a gentle touch to your days.

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  15. What a wonderful post. Great idea flawlessly executed.

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  16. Thinking of you and Kate and Peter over the holiday season. I have never met any of you but I think of you often and hope you have found some peace and happiness. Sorry trying to build the tree house was such a cluster. Some people just suck, why would anyone be against playing and fun. Take good care and thank you for writing.

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  17. Hi, I randomly stumbled across your first blog post when I Googled the word “callapitter” because that’s how I always say it! I know it’s caterpillar but it just naturally comes out callapitter, haha. And I’m 30! So maybe Peter would have continued to say it that way too. Anyways, I couldn’t stop reading and I’m touched by your honestly and vulnerability in your writing. I sat here reading, crying at times, wondering why I was sitting here reading about this terrible tragedy that happened to someone I didn’t even know? I don’t know, but I kept reading. The style of your writing and the way you process your thoughts feels so familiar. Your writing reminded me of me I suppose. I was surprised when you said Steve turned out to be gay. I’ve been known to date a few myself. When you mentioned Peter’s birthday was April 21st it felt weird because MY birthday is April 21st. I obviously had to keep reading. You started talking about everything happening for a reason and that is a theory I have seriously been giving a lot of thought to lately. For some reason I think I was supposed to stumble across your blog. I don’t know why and I don’t know if it was for me or for you. But your story has impacted me and for that, I thank you.

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  18. I still check in every so often to see if you have posted. I have never met you but your story and children have weighed heavily on my heart for years. I hope you are well and your kids continue to live on in our hearts from all of the stories and pictures you have shared. Keeping you in my thoughts!

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  19. There are no words to say to make any of this better. Your blog was one of the most real and raw things I have read in awhile. Kate and Peter were beautiful, kind and caring human beings. They were so lucky to have such a wonderful mother. You will always be a mother because of them. Nothing can take that away. I wish you brighter days ahead Amy.
    I also have experienced sudden loss but not of a child. This blog made me cry, gave me goosebumps and feel like I to am not crazy for having similar thoughts. Thank you.
    Love and positive vibes.

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  20. First I'm so sorry for your loss,and I hope that soon your dreams of a fun playground will happen. I dont know if you read the bible but I really want to share a beautiful scripture with you, on the promise of a resurrection on earth,its at revelation 21:3,4 there are so many more scriptures on this hope, it is my prayer that you will find much comfort and hope in the Bibles promise of a newsystem that is soon to come, please visit jw.org may you have peace. Sincerely Judy🤗❤

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